Monday, December 24, 2007

$100 At Golfsmith

It was a glorious moment. At first. I opened up an envelope from my father this weekend and found a $100 gift certificate to Golfsmith. But after going there today and leaving without buying anything, I'd now argue that this dollar amount is the perfect amount to give a golfer whom you're just trying to torture.

See, if some uber-rich friend (or reader?) sends you a $1,000 gift certificate, it's a no brainer -- you get a new set of irons and a driver.

For $50, it's a dozen ProV1's or a nice shirt to start 2008.

But at $100, things get tricky.

Here's what I've narrowed it down to:

Option #1: A new 60-degree wedge. My old wedge is a few years old and the grooves are wearing down, making it impossible to spin the ball. But before I could reach the check-out line today I started to wonder that maybe it's not the grooves -- maybe I just stink.

Option #2: Four dozen medium-end balls, all of which will be distant memories by 2009.

Option #3: Two dozen high-end balls and a glove, all of which will be distant memories by June, with the exception of the glove which will decompose in my golf bag for years until I find its shriveled remains, mistake it for beef jerky and try to eat it.

Option #4: Money toward a new putter. $100 doesn't buy a putter anymore. Not really sure why since it has the same amount of metal as a wedge. But I've been using a 1st generation Odyssey Two-Ball for 3 years or so and the magic is fading. Again, clearly the putter's fault, not mine.

I need help. Since I'm obviously not mature enough to make this decision on my own, I figured I'd open it up to you guys for some wisdom on what to buy and why. And don't feel constrained by my four options -- heck, maybe what I need is 10,000 tees. If nothing else that would keep me from being that guy who's down to 1 tee by #12 and spends the rest of the round chipping away at it until he has no choice but to hit driver off the deck on the 18th.

Best idea wins and I'll publish the picture of me with my (and in this case, our) big purchase.


The Constructivist said...

Treat yourself to the high end balls and glove. It's bad karma to have someone else pay for a club of yours, especially something as personal as a wedge or putter. Look at Cristie Kerr--she bought that putter in Korea and had the only good streak of the season, just in time to win the Open.... But I'd hang on to the old putter through spring. Use your ESPN $$ for the wedge!

Bob said...

It's bad luck to use any club I didn't pay for in full? Thank you for giving me another excuse to explain my lack of skill.

The Constructivist said...

'tis the season, eh?

Dinky said...

Bob -- This is an easy one. Option #1. You need a new wedge. Even if your old grooves are still fine, you psychologically BELIEVE they're not. Golf is 90% confidence -- and you can buy some more for just $99.99.

The Namby Pamby said...

Clearly you must buy the wedge.

However, as you are doing so, carefully slip and fall on some protruding object, contact a lawyer, and then settle with Golfsmith for your new driver, irons, and 4 dozen high end balls.

Bob said...

Genius! With all those golf balls just lying around the putting green, it's only a matter of time before someone sues them. And why not let that someone be me!

Hunter said...

I completely understand your problem. If you can't talk yourself into a wedge, use it to buy balls and gloves and anything else to stock up for the season. If you aren't spending your money on them you can justify putting on a fresh glove or pulling out a fresh sleeve of Pro V1's a lot more often than if you paid for them.

daniel said...

if you played for princeton, we know you're good enough to spin a wedge. this means you dont need the 120 dollar spin milled vokey. assuming that you're in the better half of players in the world, you're hitting those delicate pitch shots more so that worrying about getting those extra 5 yards from golf balls to reach the green because you 'didn't get all of that one' off the tee box.