Friday, December 28, 2007
From this I can surmise five possible explanations:
1) My friends are liars.
2) The people in San Diego have finally pulled the course together for June's Open.
3) The beer cart made too many stops at Stenson's foursome.
4) His sunglasses were so dark he didn't notice the bald patches in the fairways and cracked 150-yard markers.
5) He just really likes hang gliders.
Of course, Stenson is the player who had to withdraw from the Deutsche Bank Players' Championship in July because he couldn't remember his score. For now I can have peace with the thought that the #16 golfer in the world has been to more beautiful spots... but just forgot.
Monday, December 24, 2007
For $50, it's a dozen ProV1's or a nice shirt to start 2008.
But at $100, things get tricky.
Here's what I've narrowed it down to:
Best idea wins and I'll publish the picture of me with my (and in this case, our) big purchase.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
**#9 (above): An uphill par-3 playing about 195 back to the pin. I hit a low screamer that hits on the front of the green and starts rolling. According to our caddy Aurelio, whose name was pronounced so many different ways that I'll just spell it differently every time I mention him, my shot missed going in by a ball or so. Have no fear, I missed the 6-footer for birdie, and made the turn in 41.
**#11 (The main photo at the top of the post): A truly gorgeous and hard par-3. Maybe the most famous on the course. The card said it was 240. Areeleho said it was playing 240. I for some reason decided both were wrong and it was clearly only about 210. I clobbered my 3-iron and came up 30 yards short.
**#13: A beautiful par-4 whose green butts up to the Playboy Mansion. Yes, I meant to say butts up. I told my old boss Alan that I hope Jesus doesn't return right now because even though I believe He's the Son of God (Jesus, not Alan), the blast circle from God destroying that place would still probably get me.
**#14: Another fantasitic par-5. All the fog hides the beauty of it. I wish the fog could hide the fact I go double-bogey/double-bogey on 13 and 14 to kill any chance of breaking 80.
**Alan, Steve and I shake hands, thank O Gracious One as well as Areleheho, change our shoes in the still empty locker room and drive away before any of us says something we might regret.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
He said he really enjoys having that stretch of time off. And why not? After all, he did just have to work for four straight days. But it got me thinking about the things it would take to keep me from going to Kapalua (assuming I was ever actually invited):
1) The Second Coming.
2) Nine rolls of duct tape
3) A heart attack. And not one of this wimpy minor ones. One of the big ones where you're completely gone in like two minutes and the paramedics just show up, look at each other and shrug.
Am I forgetting any other good ones?
Course you have Tiger, then you have the opposite extreme in Rory Sabbatini, a guy who was so anxious to get to Maui that he most likely forever destroyed what little relationship he still had with Woods by dropping out of the TWC. If he expects to get a win and be invited back to Kapalua in 2009, he best save his good tournaments in 2008 for the ones in which Tiger never plays.
And on a personal note, thanks, Rory, for choosing "shin splints" as your excuse for withdrawing. I had almost convinced my wife that as a golfer I am a real athlete.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Saturday, December 15, 2007
I'm in the sunglasses and black hat.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Tiger and Lorena’s 2007: The Director’s Cut (With WRITER’S COMMENTARY)
These days a studio can’t release a DVD without including bonus footage, deleted scenes, even alternate endings. (I‘d wanted to come up with an example of some award-winning movie that has a famously bad alternate ending on the DVD, but didn’t have time. Yep, cutting corners from the first paragraph…) For those hardcore Woods/Ochoa fans (It would have been funnier if I’d said “Woochoa” fans, wouldn’t it? Dang it.) who expect the same extras in their golf coverage, it’s your lucky day. After scrounging around the cutting room floor I’ve compiled some never-before-read bonus highlights from Tiger and Lorena’s awesome 2007, further proof that from Day One this was indeed a special year.
Still not enough for you? First off, wow you’re hard to please. Second, drop me an email – I’ll send you the exclusive writer’s commentary on this column. It makes the perfect inbox stuffer this holiday season. (I may have been overselling this a bit.) And don’t worry, in the end the good guys still win.
January 1st -- After years of frustration, Tiger finally figures out how to see the images hidden in those Magic Eye puzzles from the early 90’s. (This came out of the fact that when they first came out, I really struggled with seeing those things. All my friends else would look at them and say, “a duck”… “a boat”… “A Christmas tree”… and I just couldn’t figure out what my problem is. I can do it but it takes me a good 20-30 seconds and I feel like I’m giving myself a headache to do it. And now that I think about it, how the heck do these things work, anyway? They’re evil, I tell you.)
January 2nd -- Lorena receives a “20 percent off” coupon from Bed, Bath & Beyond on the same day she was planning to buy a new towel for her golf bag. (Thanks to my wife who told me that BB and B only gives out 20% coupons now where last I remember they were 10%. And FYI, Linens & Things accepts BB and B’s coupons and vice-versa. This is the first and last shopping tip I’ll ever be able to give anyone.)
June 29th -- The guest house on Tiger's new estate burns down, good news since Phil Mickelson had just been saying he wanted to come visit. (As I said above , this one actually happened. As for Tiger and Phil, there’s a great article you HAVE TO READ by Tom Callahan about Tiger and Phil's relationship and comparing it to Nicklaus and Palmer's. It was originally in last month’s Golf Digest but was put up this week on ESPN.com.
August 5th – Tiger’s baby daughter, Sam, spits up on Sergio Garcia in the scorer’s tent at the Bridgestone Invitational. (Truly obsessed golf fans will point out that Sam Woods was never at the Bridgestone Invitational, just the PGA Championship.)
September 19th -- Lorena receives new drivers’ license in mail. The picture looks so good she decides to use it as her Christmas card photo.
That’s all I got. Thanks for the added interest. Now go do something meaningful with your life. I think Project Runway's on tonight….
Monday, December 3, 2007
A few early notes:
**I'm not really sure what Frank Lickliter's strategy was heading into this week, but intentionally or not, one thing he has successfully done is wear shirts that get uglier and uglier as the week has gone on. I don't have a picture of it yet, but today's shirt could easily be named "fake vomit plaid." It's not intimidating like Tiger's red, but on a day when guys get queasy easy, Lickliter may have chosen the perfect color.
**Early hiccups for Andrew Bonhomme who started the day inside the cut line at -13 missed a 4-footer on 1 for par and a 6 footer on 2 for par to drop under the cut line.
**Also the Golf Channel just showed a shot of Brendon De Jonge, a guy who was T2 earlier in the week, miss literally an 15" putt on his first hole to drop under the cut line....
Interesting stuff. Stay tuned...
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Having played this course six or so times and being repeatedly embarrassed by it, I can't imagine having to tackle it under the added pressure of playing for a job. These courses they're playing in Florida this week may be long, but there's no way they're as terrifying as the water around PGA West's closing holes.
(Personal note: the first time I got to #17's island green at the Stadium Course I was so nervous I blocked my 8-iron so far right it stayed dry, coming to rest on the 2-foot wide wooden walkway to the green. From there? Yes, THEN I proceeded to dump it in the water.)
Forget that. The best part is who crumbles, who dumps three in the water on 18, who 3-putts from 5 feet, who hits pitching wedge off the last instead of driver because they're too dang nervous to do anything else. It's not schadenfreude, to use a word I had to look up to make sure I used it correctly, it's a desire to see that these guys and I aren't that different.