USGA Adds Pope Benedict to Woods/Mickelson/Scott Pairing

Concerned they hadn't yet generated enough buzz for next week's U.S. Open, the USGA has invited His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI to join the 8:06AM group of Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson and Adam Scott.

Despite the Pope being one of the planet's most recognizable figures, the USGA's Mike Davis is not concerned that his presence might clog an already crowded golf course. "If anything, we believe the Pope will bring a sense of peace and calm to the Open."

Father Federico Lombardi, official Spokesman for the Vatican, talked about the Pope's golf game at a Friday morning press conference, saying that "His Holiness is definitely a finesse player but has the strength to pull off more of a bomb 'n gouge approach when he feels it's justified." Lombardi also noted that Benedict won the principality's annual 4-ball event last fall. Asked who he was paired with, Lombardi looked toward the heavens.

Tiger, for his part, said he is looking forward to meeting the Pope and finding out why God has refused to damn his ball despite his repeated requests to do so on the course.