Wednesday, July 2, 2008

DRUGS: Canseco Admits to Steroid Use During '93 Lake Tahoe Celebrity Classic

Former "Bash Brother" and six-time All Star Jose Canseco came forward during the first day of random drug testing on the PGA Tour to admit that he was on steroids during the 1993 Lake Tahoe Celebrity Classic. Before a sea of reporters, Canseco appeared with his lawyer on one side and girlfriend of three days on the other as he broke the news:

"On June 13th, 1993, I participated in the Lake Tahoe Celebrity Classic. I was paired with Vince Coleman. Vince shot a 94 and I... I shot an 89. But it was not a clean 89. At that point I had secretly been using various anabolic steroids for over seven years. (pausing to compose himself) Throughout the day, my superhuman power helped me play well above my actual abilities. On the 3rd hole I hit a drive over 200 yards. On the 14th hole I was able to get out of a greenside bunker in only two shots. I was sure someone would know I was cheating. No one ever did.

So today I am returning the 14th place trophy that I won as well as the $300 that was donated in my name to the Oakland Kids Club. Also, I should mention that the Oakland Kids Club doesn't exist and was actually just a sub-account of my regular checking account. Thank you."


Golden Balls said...

This story has moved me so much, I feel it somewhat freeing to note that I recently played a tournament while intoxicated with Mucinex, actually it was half the recommended dosage, but if Canseco can admit wrong, so can I.

I think I feel better having said that...

James said...

Good story...very funny, but it is tragic that you neglected to mention Vince Coleman's elicit use of fireworks as an agent of distraction during the same tournament that cost Mr. Canseco, as well as fellow participants Gorman Thomas and Rollie Fingers several strokes.