Thursday, August 28, 2008

European Tour to Mandate All Members Speak European

In a stunning response to the LPGA's new policy about enforced proficiency of the English language for its players, the European Tour has announced that all of its members must be able to speak conversational European by 2011.

Meeting before a large group of reporters, Tour CEO and fluent European speaker George O'Grady began, "Good morning, danke schoen, bon jour, -ello, hola..." O'Grady had planned on detailing the specifics of the policy, but after spending thirteen minutes just welcoming reporters in various languages, he had used up his allotted time and was called away to another appointment.

Back in America, certain players remain worried that the PGA Tour may implement a policy of their own. Chief among those fretting the move is Boo Weekley, who isn't sure he would pass an English proficiency test despite the fact he's a native of the United States.


Bobbio said...

Well it's about freakin' time.

The Constructivist said...

Dude! Dude. Duuude!