
Tallahassee, FL -- With polls showing Arizona Senator John McCain needing to win many of the crucial swing states for a realistic chance at the White House, lawyers for the Republican Presidential nominee have filed an injunction with Florida's election board, asking officials to consider invalidating all votes not cast by card-carrying
PGA Tour professionals.
A spokesman for Illinois Senator Barack Obama immediately decried the idea as "the opposite of democracy," noting the fact that Tour players overwhelmingly vote Republican.
But leading experts say otherwise, citing current voter rolls which show long-deceased
PGA players such as Walter Hagen, Gene
Sarazen, and Ben Hogan all currently registered Democrats in Miami-
Dade County. "We got Hagen registered in every county," boasted chief Obama consultant David
Axelrod, "and not just once."
Should the injunction be approved, experts believe the final tally will be close, with Harry
Vardon (an English citizen and dead since 1937) possibly casting the tie-breaking vote.