Who Says Golf Writers Aren't Hip?

Here's a real exchange pulled from Thursday's post-round interview with James Nitties, first round leader of the FBR Open:

REPORTER: The book lists one of your hobbies as "clubbing," and some of us old guys think we know what that means, but could you confirm that?

JAMES NITTIES: Well, it equates to going out to a club per se, or a bar, or a social area and having a couple drinks and sort of catching up with friends and listening to some good music.

There are so many great things about this. First, that someone really needed confirmation of what that could mean. Second, that Nitties' answer to the question sounds like what he'd say to his grandparents if they asked why he got in so late the night before.

How I wish he had thrown them a curveball and just gone in a completely different direction with his answer:

JAMES NITTIES: Clubbing? Sure, I'd love to explain. Clubbing is when you take a blunt object, like a baseball bat, a 2 x4, even an old sink, and just bludgeon strangers on the street for no reason.