Sunday, April 12, 2009

2009 Masters: (Almost) The Greatest Masters Ever!

Hey golf fans! Want to feel miserable? Well, you're in luck, because the 2009 Masters commemorative DVD will be shipping in August!

It doesn't matter who you were rooting for, the video guarantees you'll come away slightly nauseous about something!
Watch as 48-year old Kenny Perry makes 11 straight pars to start his day, then drains a birdie from the fringe on the 12th, birdies 15, and sticks his approach 4 inches away on the 16th hole to take a 2-shot lead and cause Verne Lundquist to call it the greatest shot of his career!*
*At which point Perry misses four straight greens to lose in sudden death. Quotable Kenny: "Not everybody can be great. I'm just an average guy, and I'm happy to be it."

Not a Kenny fan? No problem, because the 2009 Masters video also includes Phil Mickelson. You'll be amazed as the World's #2 player sculpts the best opening-nine in Masters history, including a shot around a tree on #7 that only a non-existing blimp shot could explain! But wait, there's more! After rinsing a ball on the par-3 12th, enjoy as "Lefty" hits his 2nd shot on the par-5 15th to just five feet! Did we mention he was paired with the Tiger Woods!!! It's a series of events that makes CBS' Nick Faldo and David Feherty compare the day to Jack Nicklaus's '86 Masters!!!!!**

**Mickelson fails to convert the eagle on 15, or his birdie on 16, and bogeys the last to finish three out of the playoff.

Like an underdog? Well, what about Chad Campbell?! Enjoy the ride as the easy-going Texan begins Masters week with 5-straight birdies, the greatest opening in tournament history! After losing the lead on Saturday, the man that the field forgot about works his way into a 3-way sudden-death playoff!!!!***
***At which point he pushes his approach shot 20 yards offline on the first playoff hole and misses an 8-footer for par.

STILL not sure if this is the DVD for you? Dare we mention Tiger Woods is involved in this?!! Watch as Woods acts unphased by Mickelson's front-nine 30 and holds his own for a 33 despite leaving his A-game in Orlando. After surviving Amen Corner, you'll be tickled as Tiger turns it on, going birdie-par-birdie-birdie on #13 through 16 to make every golf fan in the world wonder if he is witnessing Tiger's greatest feat yet!!!!!!****
****Until Tiger plays his final two holes bogey-bogey, nearly felling a tree with a miscue from the pine straw on the last.

And of course there's the lumbering Argentinian Angel Cabrera, whose front nine was so nervy that he actually shanked a shot on the 8th hole! But Cabrera would battle back with clutch putts to push his way into sudden death, where he would smite his opponents in grand fashion***** to become, at age 39, a Masters Champion.
*****Alright, they were just pars, but the first one was ridiculous. Never mind, you win -- twenty years from now, the 2009 Masters will likely be remembered for what others FAILED to do versus what Cabrera actually DID.
Narrated by Jim Nantz, the 2009 Masters DVD promises to (almost) blow you away for years to come.


AppleDawg said...

Fantastic last day but not even close to the greatest Masters ever

Not even close

Bob Smiley said...

Absolutely. A great Masters ends with something triumphant. This was just a collection of slips and falls.

courtgolf said...

I'm getting the impression that you're not ordering several of these to give as Christmas gifts this year.

Anonymous said...

Love the blog. When Hamilton finished in the top 16, all I could think of was your headline "Last Masters for Gary Player, Todd Hamilton." Fore right jinx!

Bob Smiley said...

Yes, I'd like to think just as Jack Nicklaus found motivation from an article saying he couldn't win the '86 Masters, Todd Hamilton read my site and set out to prove me wrong.

Anonymous said...

Does this make Cabrera the first player ever to win a major with a belly putter?

Bob Smiley said...

Yes... sort of. It was a longer putter with a longer grip but it didn't hit his stomach and he gripped down to normal length. So I wouldn't classify it the same way as if Cink or Tim Clark had won.