Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Attention Ernie Els: A Tiger Woods Who Will Melt Under Pressure

Just in time for the Masters, the Hollywood Wax Museum is auctioning off various statues to make some extra cash. I know, can you believe that not even kitschy wax statues are recession-proof?

As someone who has been to a couple of these museums in my day, I'll only say this...

They're creepy.

Because either the statues look exactly like the celebrity (mildly creepy) or they look like a genetically mutated version of the celebrity (very creepy). Put the above statue of Tiger Woods on the outer end of that second category. By wax standards, the face is okay. But everything else is a disaster. From the foot-long neck to the Frankenstein shoulders to the "driver" that stops six inches below Tiger's waist.

Frankly, it's no wonder that the wax museum business is hurting.

FYI, the suggested bid is between $2000 and $3000. I know I have some well-meaning readers out there, but please, if a 6-foot 2-inch crate arrives on my front door anytime soon, I'm sending it back.

4 comments:

bkm said...

Dont worry we wouldn't get you the Tiger wax statue. But we did pool our money ($5) and got you the Rory Sabatini wax statue.

gphelan said...

That's actually Anthony Kim's driver...

Keith R. Pillow said...

Bob, if you've ever been to the Hollywood Wax Museum (and I've been unfortunate enough to do in recent years), none of the statues...and I mean none...actually look like their real-life celebrity counterparts. These are, literally, the worst wax replicas I have ever seen...hands down.

Bob Smiley said...

Yes, I'm really more of a Madame Tussauds' man myself. They're the Rolls Royce of the wax figure world.