Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Why Avatar Should Offend Golfers Everywhere

I figured I'd be bothered by the uninspired dialogue. I'd also heard the acting was crummy. (Since really, why should the words characters say or the way they say them be of any real importance?) But I didn't think James Cameron would insult me as a golfer.

How?

There's a scene early on where Giovanni Ribisi, who plays the white collar boss overseeing the mining on the planet of Pandora, is putting balls into a mug across a stretch of Astro turf. After one rolls in, he leans back and yells, "I love this putter!" which of course made me sit up and stare through my 3-D glasses at what putter he was using.

Cameron had two options here. One, he could have had his prop guy spend an hour making some weird, futuristic-looking thing. After all, it's the year 2154. No doubt putting technology has advanced a lot in 144 years. Maybe Ribisi would be using a new Scotty Cameron, which at 400K a pop, would remain overpriced.

Even cooler would have been if Cameron had gone with some famous retro putter, like an old Wilson 8802 or something.

But no. Best I could tell, Ribisi's great find was this piece of crap, some forgettable Taylor Made mallet. I mean, come on, James. I'm willing to suspend disbelief just so far.

Then again, millions think Cameron's a genius. Perhaps Avatar portends of something even more unbelievable than human greed destroying planet Earth... a massive USGA equipment rollback.

9 comments:

courtgolf said...

Come on Bob, didn't Cameron's first mega-movie tell you that he was about more than just the money ? He was willing to drop a $50 million blue diamond necklace into the deep. (followed by that immortal line delivered by Gloria Stuart..."oops") Yes, "Titanic" was more than just Leo and Kate testing the suspension of a car in storage.

Admit it - Cameron's a visionary and a giver. (wow - got through that without laughing or getting queezy !)

Jason said...

I'm going to talk to Jose in a little bit (the guy who helped design a lot of those forgettable pieces of crap) -- I think you just ruined his morning.

BOB SMILEY said...

Good. Thanks, Jason. Since most of the stuff in Avatar is CGI'd anyway, I think the only respectable thing for Cameron to do is spend a few mill digitally removing that piece of junk and replace it with something else. At least it wasn't a belly putter.

Jason said...

Every time you say "Cameron" I think you're talking about Scotty, not James. Very different people - one is a egomaniac who makes super-expensive "masterpieces" that are more hype than substance, and the other, well, um...

Anonymous said...

I would have expected to have seen an improvement on Al Czervik's putter.

kyle said...

according to Louisville Golf, it's one of their putters:

http://www.louisvillegolf.com/blog/?p=74

BOB SMILEY said...

Nice, thanks Kyle! I stand (sort of) corrected.

kyle said...

but just ponder the symbolism of a wooden putter!

the, um, symbolism being...uh....yeah.



they do make a keen fairway wood, i will say.

brodie said...

they should have made it so you plug your dingy into the grip and the putter reacts to your body rhythm