Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Why Avatar Should Offend Golfers Everywhere

I figured I'd be bothered by the uninspired dialogue. I'd also heard the acting was crummy. (Since really, why should the words characters say or the way they say them be of any real importance?) But I didn't think James Cameron would insult me as a golfer.


There's a scene early on where Giovanni Ribisi, who plays the white collar boss overseeing the mining on the planet of Pandora, is putting balls into a mug across a stretch of Astro turf. After one rolls in, he leans back and yells, "I love this putter!" which of course made me sit up and stare through my 3-D glasses at what putter he was using.

Cameron had two options here. One, he could have had his prop guy spend an hour making some weird, futuristic-looking thing. After all, it's the year 2154. No doubt putting technology has advanced a lot in 144 years. Maybe Ribisi would be using a new Scotty Cameron, which at 400K a pop, would remain overpriced.

Even cooler would have been if Cameron had gone with some famous retro putter, like an old Wilson 8802 or something.

But no. Best I could tell, Ribisi's great find was this piece of crap, some forgettable Taylor Made mallet. I mean, come on, James. I'm willing to suspend disbelief just so far.

Then again, millions think Cameron's a genius. Perhaps Avatar portends of something even more unbelievable than human greed destroying planet Earth... a massive USGA equipment rollback.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Todd Lewis, Human Coat Rack

The beginning of the year traditionally brings new sets to the Golf Channel studio in Orlando and this year they've outdone themselves. There's a putting green, a sand trap, a simulator, a "Conversation Set"!... Unfortunately there was not enough room in the budget for a metal hook to hold Charlie Rymer's jacket.


2010 -- Bob Be Back...

I've finally come out of my golf funk, a spell which began with Tom Watson's 72nd hole and was further stoked by Tiger Woods' misadventures.

But it's a new year! And based on every golf publication, apparently Rickie Fowler is the answer to our prayers. He's got great hair... designer clothes... and he finished 2nd at the Open to Troy Matteson! Yes!! Yes!!! Tiger WHO, that's what I say!

Okay, I can't keep up that level of enthusiasm.

Instead, you'll have to settle for another season (Fore Right's 4th, btw) of my thoughts (hopefully humorous) on what remains the best game on earth.